additional thoughts to Things I Wish I Had Known

Thanks everyone for all the nice comments about my earlier post. It was kind of going out on a limb, being all candid and whatnot about motherhood, but I truly wish I would have come across something like this before it all happened to me personally. So take it or leave it, but I'm glad it helped out so many of you. Writing this all down has really been therapeutic, as I realize that things aren't so bad after all. Motherhood is so so wonderful. :)

I have been thinking, and I have a few (okay, a lot) additional things to add:

PREGNANCY:

• Gap Maternity had the softest maternity shirts. Keep checking online and they'll go on sale. My entire pregnancy my older sisters kept reminding me, "You'll wear these clothes more than once!" They told me to actually buy clothes that I genuinely like (and not just the ones on-sale) because after all, who gets a new wardrobe every single pregnancy? No one. You'll be stuck with your same maternity clothes (and perhaps a few new additions) throughout all (three, four, five..) of your pregnancies. So go ahead and splurge on the dress that you look fantastic in. Years later when you have to pull it out again, you'll be so glad you did.
• Buy more than just 0-3 month clothes. You'll be so excited and want them to wear every outfit right away, but it's nice to save a few things too. My little guy is nowhere near growing out of his 0-3 month clothes yet, but I will be so grateful that we have just as many 3-6 month clothes as we do 0-3 months.
• Make (or buy) yourself a carseat cover. It has come in handy when Jack is sleeping and I don't want everyone poking and prodding at him.
• Build a small network of friends who also have babies. It is so nice after delivery to have someone to talk and vent to who has gone through the same thing you have. 
• If you have friends who recently had a baby, bring them dinner while you can! My neighbor had a 10-day old baby when we moved in, and I regret not helping out more. I guess being a new mom is one of those things where you have to actually go it yourself to appreciate what others do for you. But even though I didn't understand how hard it was to have a new baby at the time, I sincerely wish I would have helped anyway. I appreciate so much all of my friends who brought us dinner. Thank you!
• Take advantage of all those "Honey, can I rub your back for you?" in the last few months.
• Don't pack your hospital bag too early. I was so excited that I packed it about five weeks before Jack's due date (I like to be over-prepared), but when I was actually in labor and we had to leave for the hospital, I had no idea what was in the bag anymore. Pregnancy makes your forgetful, and so does the excitement of "the baby's coming!" Thus, most of the hour and a half spent at home before going to the hospital was re-packing the bag.
• When you're not hungry anymore, then it's time to go to the hospital. So many people go too early! I think the most helpful thing I learned from the Bradley childbirth classes we took was to look for cues to know what stage of labor you are in instead of being checked by the doctor. For example, I knew I was in transition when I started to feel the baby descend and felt the overwhelming urge to push. I completely lost all modesty, my contractions were triple-peaking, and I started panicking. (Unfortunately this is when I gave in to get an epidural, but if I hadn't, the baby would have been born shortly - probably in ten or fifteen minutes.) When you are in late first stage labor (which was when I got to the hospital), you aren't hungry, you don't want to talk between contractions, and focus all of your energy on concentrating though each contraction. Knowing behaviors and physical signs of each stage of labor helped me follow my progression and make informed decisions.
• Sign up for formula websites. Even if you're breastfeeding, I'm sure it would be nice to have emergency formula on hand. I signed up for the GoodStart, Enfamil, Similac, Parent's Choice, and Sam's Club formula websites. Each have sent me samples in the mail, and Similac (and Enfamil I think) sent 12-oz tubs. Free formula, plus coupons sent periodically in the mail. GoodStart sends me an $11.00 coupon and a $3.00 coupon once a month.
• Again, if you are formula feeding at all, my sisters recommended GoodStart as the first formula to feed baby. It's the most gentle and easiest on baby's tummy for the first few weeks.
• I haven't done this yet, but I need to. If you're feeding baby formula, keep bottled water handy (in the house and in the car). We had a lesson at church a couple of weeks ago and we talked about the "snowpocalypse" that was supposed to hit the Salt Lake valley several weeks ago. Luckily it didn't happen, but what would you do if a disaster hit and you didn't have water to mix up the milk? What if the pipes froze? What if your water just got turned off for maintenance? It's better to be prepared than find yourself in a compromising situation where you don't have food for your baby!
• Talk with your husband about a few parenting things, to make sure you are on the same page. I've got a funny story to tell you. For example, I started off giving Jack cold bottles from the fridge. I wanted to teach him it is perfectly normal to drink cold milk (and as a bonus, if I am ever in a situation out and about where I need water and my only option is the drinking fountain, my baby needs to be able to take a cold bottle!). I had never mentioned this to Tyler. So about two weeks after he was born, I realized he had stopped taking cold bottles. He'd let the milk dribble all down his chin, and he started spitting it out. I got really frustrated. After telling Tyler, we realized we had different parenting ideas. He believes in warming up the bottle, or at least giving it to the baby at room-temperature. Thus, he had been giving Jack room-temperature bottles and I had been giving Jack cold bottles! Guess which bottle he started to prefer? We have now compromised and he gets slightly colder than room-temperature bottles. Moral of the story: talk about things like this, or at least be observant to each others parenting. You won't agree on everything, but you can always find a compromise. Be consistent. It'll confuse your poor baby if Mommy does it one way and Daddy does it another!
• I suppose this could qualify for before pregnancy. Heard of Aflac insurance, with that annoying little duck? They have maternity insurance. Basically you pay $100 a month for ten months or more (you have to plan ahead on this one and be insured for ten or more months before your little one is born) and when you deliver your little bundle of joy, you get $3,145. Yes, you read that correctly. Tyler and I just got our check in the mail a few days ago! (But note to self: stay two days in the hospital, or you won't get the full check. We only got $2,550 - which is still WOW - because I didn't stay the full 48 hours. Kind of lame. I wasn't aware of this rule before today or I would have stayed an extra night, but I can't complain. We are lots of money ahead either way!) Email me at alie.jonesy @ gmail.com for more info! (No, but really...if you're interested in learning more, email me! I get a $25 gift card if I refer a friend, and you get richer for having a baby!)

AFTER:

• Take it easy in the first few weeks. You will think, "But I feel great!" but don't listen to yourself! I felt fantastic after delivery, but around the four to five week mark I completely lost it. I was so sleep deprived and so tired of doing the same things every day (feed, change diaper, play, rock to sleep...repeat). Really take time to relax and take care of yourself. When you do crash (which I think all women do), it's normal. Your husband will probably ask, "what's wrong?" and you'll tell him, eyes full of tears, that you really don't know. Husbands, this is your cue to just smile and hold her.
• Two books I recommend: Baby Wise (only $5.63), and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer (only $7.99). The first one will help you get your baby on a routine. It's fantastic, but just know it's not everyone's style of parenting. The second one I didn't pick up while I was pregnant because I thought just by the title that the book would be cheesy and useless. But I borrowed it from my neighbor and I love it! It has charts that help you decipher your baby's body language (which I realize would have been so helpful earlier!), lets you know what "type" of baby you have (angel, textbook, touchy, spirited, grumpy) and the best ways to handle their individual needs. It's written by a British woman and is very candid. Perhaps that's what I like the most about it.
• All you will want to do is hold and snuggle with your baby. I'm still struggling with this, but am slowly realizing it's okay to politely turn down someone's offer to hold him. After all, you did (and still do) all the hard work and he will only be newborn small for a few short weeks! When he is four months old and you've had a long day, I'm sure you'll want to pass him over to anyone who offers. But when he's that teeny tiny and sweet, cherish it, be selfish, and keep him all to yourself (and your husband).
• Another thing about crying. It's hard at first, but now I really don't mind it much. Because I have taken a few days and let Jack "cry it out", I now realize he needs about three minutes when I set him down to cry himself to sleep. That is his process, and it takes twice as long for me to get him to sleep if this process doesn't happen. It was very, very hard at first to listen to him cry and cry. Watch the clock, and after ten minutes if he still hasn't calmed down, go in there and gently pat him until he's quiet, reassuring him you haven't abandoned him. I read somewhere that most babies cry a little as they are going to sleep; it's simply a natural process. Just remember that, and it's so much easier!
• Just when you think you can't handle this "boring" newborn stage anymore where they don't do anything or react to much, your baby will start to smile! This is so refreshing. Awake time is ten times more fun! Babies go through so many stages and each one is more exciting than the next!
• Take lots and lots of pictures. I like to take pictures periodically of baby's full body laying in the crib. I think as he gets older it will be so fun to compare how small he looked in that giant crib! Don't forget to take family photos. I need to be better at this - we only have a few!
• Tyler and I don't use bibs for the baby when we are feeding him. I don't know how messy breastfeeding is, but bottle feeding is extremely messy sometimes! Jack gets a nice, thick milk goatee on his chin which eventually spills over, dribbling all down his neck. We like to use burp rags - we tuck them under his chin to catch any dribbles, and then pull it out when we burp him. It eliminates having both a bib and a burp rag.
• Something I didn't know before: it isn't necessary to use a wipe when baby pees. The diapers they make these days do an excellent job at drawing away moisture, and plus a baby wipe might just irritate even more than it needs to be. 

(I'll probably end up coming up with a third edition to this as I think of more things.)

Things I Wish I Would Have Known

Jack, less than one week old

Jack, five weeks old

Look how much he has grown! My little baby is growing up so fast I can't keep up.


I've been compiling a list in my head of things I wish I would have known before I became a Mommy. These aren't just things that I hadn't heard before - these are things that I wish had been more permanently cemented in my mind before I became a Mom. This is advice I wish I would have believed more.

Before the baby is born:

• When you're in labor, don't go to the hospital right away. Wait as long as you can to get the epidural. Walk the halls. Women were meant to walk around in labor. It will feel so much better than just laying in a hospital bed all day, and time will pass much faster because you have something to focus on.
• Get a pedicure the last few weeks before your baby is born. I wish I would have done this.
• Read up a teensy bit on how to take care of your newborn. As a pregnant momma-to-be you are so focused on how the labor and delivery will go. But don't forget that immediately after your long-awaited delivery, you will be expected to take care of this strange new child. It's helpful to be a little prepared for that.
• Make a journal for your little one. Tape things in it, like your ultrasound pictures and cards from gifts you have received. Write letters to your baby inside it. Baby books don't have to be a big, expensive scrapbook with fancy papers and ornamentation.

After the baby is born:

• You know those motherly instincts you keep hearing about? They really do kick in. I promise.
•  Don't feel bad about not changing the baby's diaper in the middle of the night. Sprinkle baby powder on his bum before bed, and don't worry about it. If he poops, by all means give in and change it. But you don't want to start the habit of him waking up because his diaper is a little wet.
• Let the baby cry. Need to eat breakfast? Let him cry. Need a shower? Let him cry. He can handle it. As hard as it is, you need to remember to take care of yourself first so you can take better care of the baby.
• Take time every day to take a shower. It may be the only "you" time you get the entire day.
• The baby isn't as fragile as you think. 
• The baby loves you just as much as he loves Daddy. This isn't a contest.
• Don't play with baby at night. Don't even talk to him. He'll fall asleep so much quicker after (or during) the mid-night feeding if he realizes it's no fun to be awake. More sleep for him = more sleep for you. In the end, it makes both parties happy.
• Make sure to snuggle with your husband and talk about things other than the baby each day. He deserves just as much love and affection as the baby does.
• Don't take it personal every time the baby cries. Understand that is their only way of communicating (think of it as their way of talking to you).
• It's okay to be sad, and it's okay to cry yourself to sleep.
• Your husband is just as in love with your post-preggo body as he was with your pre-preggo body. Remember: it is you, out of all women, that he wants to spend forever with. He loves you more than anything. You are probably sexier and more attractive to him now than ever before. Remember, you are the mother of his child that he loves dearly and he is so grateful for all that you do.
• It's okay to bottle-feed. None of us are perfect. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed to bottle-feed in public, for fear of being judged by others (particularly the breastfeeding moms). People don't know your story or reasons for formula-feeding, so shame on them for passing judgment.
• Don't feel bad for taking naps. After all, you have been up several times during the night! When baby takes his first morning nap of the day, sleep in. You'll be tempted to pick up the house, do dishes, and hop in the shower and get ready. But if you are exhausted, it's okay to stay in your pajamas and cat nap. You'll be better rested and as a bonus, you'll be in a much better mood.
• The house will be messy most of the time. You won't want to clean the bathroom, do the dishes, or vacuum the floors. This is perfectly normal.
• Don't forget to laugh. When Jack was less than a week old, he projectile vomited all over the front of me. It was on my face, in my hair, down my shirt, and all over both of us. Instead of crying, I chose to laugh. Now I can look back and find humor in that moment, and be glad I laughed instead of weeping.
• Sometimes you'll miss your old life, where you could do anything you wanted to do whenever you wanted to do it. After all, you've spent forever living that way. Sometimes it will be frustrating to have to tote the baby everywhere you go, preparing over an hour in advance to just make a quick run to the grocery store. But when a little old lady at JoAnn's peers into your cart and sees a precious two-week old and gushes over how handsome he is, your heart will melt right along with her and you will realize this parenting game is all worth it.

Mommy Essentials

Even though I've only been a mother for a month (!!) I've made a quick list of essentials I am grateful to have:

1. Glass bottles. Easy to clean, classic looking, and don't break. We even dropped one on the hard tile floor of the mall the other night. See my post about these bottles here.

2. My Lands End diaper bag, kudos to my Mom. I love a few things about it:
-Mine is black, which means Tyler feels comfortable carrying it. He would complain if I got anything "girly", like polka dots or stripes.
-It stands up on its own. When you open it, it is rectangular like a box. This shape is nice because the bag doesn't topple over if it's heavy on one side.
-You can get it with a smaller diaper bag for quick trips. I think this will come in handy when I get the hang of things and don't feel the need to bring the entire kitchen sink with me. :)
-It's light blue instead of black on the inside so you can see everything quickly.
-It has a nice zippered pocket in the front that I stash my "mommy" things in, like my wallet, keys, and lip gloss.
-I've noticed it retains the temperature of the bottles quite nicely. If we put cold water in his bottle when we leave, a few hours later it is still cold.
-It comes with a changing pad, which has a little pocket in it to stash wipes. Nice.

3. A long, waist-height dresser (again, kudos to Mom). I love that we have a large, shorter dresser because I use it for a changing table. I've heard from so many people that a changing table isn't necessary, but I honestly don't know what I'd do without it! So I love that we have combined his dresser into his changing table. I have a lamp on one side, hand sanitizer, and a changing pad on it. It is fabulous. I think it would be very annoying to have to go into our bedroom every.single.time and use our bed to change his clothes or diaper.

4. A medium-sized basket with essentials in it, and put it next to your changing table. I stash diapers and wipes in it, along with nail clippers, lotion, diaper cream, and other little essentials I might need while I'm changing him. It's nice to just grab the nail clippers and clip his nails while he's already peachy on the table, and not have to pick him up to go grab them somewhere else.

5. A touch lamp. I got ours at the local thrift store for $5. I love it! It has three settings (low, medium, high?) and I don't have to fumble for the switch at 2am. I just walk in and touch it once, and that gives me enough light to see the baby but not wake him up. It's handy for a middle-of-the-night diaper change because it isn't too bright but I can see. I also love our nightlight in his bedroom, so I can peek into his bedroom when he's asleep and also not wake him up.

6. Lots of burp rags. I'm not even kidding. When I saw how many my mom made me, I laughed, but they come in handy! Instead of trying to fasten a bib on him, I shove the burp rag under his chin when I'm feeding him. That way I have something to keep him clean, and easy access to the burp cloth when I need to burp him. My mom made me about a dozen burp cloths out of extra flannel, and I go through them pretty quickly. I probably go through at least one or two a day, depending on how messy he is, and Jack doesn't spit up much either. We tend to feed him on the same spot on the couch, and just keep the cloth draped over our couch arm for easy access.

7. Phil & Ted's stroller. Yes, it's a splurge, but it is so wonderful! (Again, kudos to my wonderful parents!) And Tyler loves pushing it so much, he won't even let me have a try when we go out. I love how easy it is to turn in tight spaces, and that it will fit two kids (or three if they want to sit together) down the road. And it just looks so darn cool. I get so excited when we use it.

8. A car seat cover. It can get flipping cold, especially during the winter months here in Utah. And baby will be even colder then you, so it's nice to keep him warm and cozy in a little car seat den. And it keeps people from poking and prodding at him too. My sister likes flannel ones for the winter (they are warmer and also thicker fabric so they don't blow around if it's windy) and cotton for the summer. Ours has monsters on it. See it here.

9. A baby journal. We love our baby calendar, but I have a special journal for Jack that I tape all of his "events" in. I'm not a big scrapbooker, but I do love the imperfection of a handwritten journal. I love to tape things in it from everyday life. (Remember reading Amelia's Notebooks? I read these when I was probably 8 or 9 and have journaled similar to her style ever since. Sometimes it's fun to document everyday life instead of just the big events.) So far he has his ultrasound pictures and cd in there, his baby footprints, his hospital bands, cards from friends and family, and letters from his momma.

10. A swing. Jack initially hated the swing, but the more I put him in it he seems to like it. I've learned to put him in it when he's in a happy mood, not when he's crying. (Hopefully someday it will be able to soothe him when he's crying as well.) This has been a lifesaver recently, as I am able to set him down and get things done for a little while (laundry, dishes, etc.). We have this one (although it wasn't $200, don't worry.)

Jack's Birth Story

Want to know (every detail of) how baby Jack made his long-awaited arrival into this world? Read on.

Jack Dalton's birth story simplified into ten (easy, painless) steps:

Step one:      Complain about how much you want labor to start already. This will annoy your husband and everyone around you. Oddly enough, this also will be the only time in your life when you actually have a strong desire to feel excruciating pain. Go to bed already and forget about it. The baby's never coming out and you're going to be pregnant forever.

Step two:      Wake up at 3am and feel a little crampier than usual. You probably just have to pee, but just in case, silently sneak out of bed to go sit on the couch and start reading every pregnancy book you own. Time what you suspect may be contractions. When they don't subside by 4:15, wake your husband up. He'll be a little difficult to stir and may be a bit cranky and confused, but when you say the word "labor" his eyes will open right away. 

Step three:      Realize that you may have packed your hospital bag too soon and now have no idea what is in there. Take everything out and make your husband repack the bag. Hop in the shower and scrub up - this may be the last time you feel genuinely clean for a while. When you are finished with your shower, you'll realize it takes you five times as long to get anything done because you have to stop every two minutes for a contraction. This is quite frustrating indeed. Your husband will try to make you eat something, but chances are the last thing on your mind will be food. (Typical of the male gender, wanting food at a crucial time such as this!) Finally everything is packed and ready. Between contractions, make a dash for the car. Unfortunately, you probably won't make it and will awkwardly bend over, breathing through your crampiness as you make it to the parking lot. Good thing it's 5:30 in the morning and nobody's up yet.

Step four:      Drive to the hospital. Contractions really suck in the car, so the hospital better be close. Park at the hospital. Get a strong contraction on your way from the car to the entrance, and awkwardly lean on your husband (who happens to have his hands full with all of the hospital bags and thus can barely support you). Luckily they expect peculiar things like this to happen on the Labor and Delivery floor. Ride the elevator up, praying you won't get stuck riding it up and down, unable to exit on the correct floor because you're in the middle of a contraction. Check in around 6am, and finally get settled in your room.

Step five:      Plan to bare it all. Change into an ugly hospital gown which frequently flies open in the back, exposing your right or left butt cheek to the world. Plan to be strapped down to the bed for what seems like an endless forty minutes of poking and prodding. When you tell the nurse you plan to birth naturally without an epidural, she may raise her eyebrows a bit. When she checks your dilation, you are 4.5cm along. It won't be long now! Then several nurses will be in your room, strapping too-tight fetal monitors to your belly and poking your arm in three different places to find blood. And this all happens while you are stuck in bed battling semi-painful contractions.

Step six:      It's time to roam around the labor and delivery floor and let gravity work wonders. This can be a bit inconvenient when you have an IV pole attached to your arm, but luckily dragging the darn thing around can be your supportive husband's job. You do three or four laps, passing the ice cube machine and the blanket warmer on the way. The contractions will finally start to pick up and they feel stronger and stronger, but it's disappointing that in the past three hours you've only progressed to 5.5cm. But relax. You can do this.

Step seven:      9:00 am already. Your doctor drops by to say hello. Your bag of waters is "bulging" and ready to pop at any second. She breaks your water to speed things along, and the gush of fluid spilling out of you is unbelievably warm. It feels like you just wet your pants...times ten. Ew...don't want to feel that again for a while. But luckily labor finally starts to pick up. A routine is established: walk, sit on the exercise ball, and lay in bed for monitoring. Repeat. You lose all sense of modesty. You've got nothing no one in the room hasn't seen before. But suddenly, you are stuck naked in the lukewarm shower when a really, really hard contraction hits. They're coming closer and closer together, and it's getting harder and harder to relax. While he is attempting to dress you, your husband tells you to calm down and breathe slowly. You give him a dirty look and probably tell him to shut up. Three more contractions send you doubling over while you make your way to the bed.

Step eight:       Breathe deep. Now deeper. Contractions will come barreling at you. Three on top of one another, followed by a thirty-second break. When did this all of a sudden get so hard? Make strange grunting and wailing noises that you never thought would come out of you, and your husband may tell you to keep the noise down. You want to punch him in the face. Calming down is no longer and option at this point. You have lost your sanity. You feel the irresistible urge to push, yet you are only 6cm dilated. Yes, the nurse just checked you again for the umpteenth time. It's really loud and bright and hard to concentrate on anything but the pain. You've completely checked out of the world. You cry and beg for the relief of an epidural, and your husband fights against you. He has good reason to...you've worked too hard and come too far to give up now. But luckily the nurse lets you sign the paper anyway. The anesthesiologist comes in, bright and cheerful, and the nurse announces you're dilated to a 7. No, wait. Now you're at an 8. You literally don't even feel the needles in your back at this point. Holy cow. You're dilated to 8.5cm. (Yes, the nurse checked you again). The pain in your pelvis is much to strong to worry about anything else. Then BAM! Relief. The beautiful, heavenly "walking" epidural kicks in. It is light, and you can still feel contractions. But oh, you can breathe again.

Step nine:      Smile and relax. You made it 8.5cm naturally. Way to go, sistah! Say, "Hello, world. I'm here again. I've checked back in. See the big smile on my face? I'm ready to birth this baby." There's no smile on your husband's face. He is clearly disappointed in you. Luckily this doesn't last long. Smile again, and sing in your head, this is the final countdown! while picturing Gob from Arrested Development perform magic tricks with a dead dove. Giggle a bit. Feel pressure as the baby moves further and further down. There is absolutely no self control at this point. Your body is pushing with or without you on board.

Step ten:      Let out loud, uncontrollable grunts. Embarrassing, loud grunts. Again, your body has taken over and this baby is coming whether you're ready or not. No, nurse, I cannot wait an hour to "rest and descend" until I start pushing. Call the doctor. This baby is coming now. 10cm. Hallelujah, complete dilation at last. She thinks delivery will take at least an hour, so we will start pushing and call the doctor later. Wrong. Fifteen minutes into pushing (you are an excellent pusher, by the way) the baby is crowning and ready to meet his parents at last. Your instructions: "Don't push for the next few contractions while I call the doctor." Ha! As if you can even control that. Run, nurse, run! The doctor arrives (luckily her clinic is just minutes away) and in three contractions your beautiful baby is born at 12:08pm. You did it! Say hello to the world, baby Jack!

Sidenote: Tyler pointed out that I make it seem like he wasn't at all supportive. He was wonderful, I promise! I couldn't have done it without him there. He was constantly holding me up during contractions, rubbing my back, cleaning me up, etc. His back and hands were probably just as sore as I was after labor!

Tyler and I planned on a drug-free childbirth. We took a twelve-week childbirth class together, studying The Bradley Method. I really was confident I could do it. But I learned you have to be flexible. Your first baby is by far the most difficult (and longest) labor. Even though labor was nine hours for me, it came on hard and strong. The point when I really lost control was when my contractions peaked three on top of one another. Three minutes of hard contractions with no break in between really did it for me. That was my breaking point. But in the end, I made it 8.5cm naturally, and I am so grateful I did! I feel like my body has healed quickly (I'm writing this six days after birth and I feel fantastic) because I allowed it to labor drug-free. Being able to walk around and switch positions (instead of laying in bed for hours on end with no feeling) makes all the difference. It allowed my body to adjust naturally to the changes happening to it during labor. 

Looking back, I am glad I got the light epidural when I did. It allowed me to check back into reality, and really be "there" for the birth of our first child. Without it, I'm sure the baby would have come out just fine, but I think I would have been hysterical to say the least. It gave me the opportunity to be calm and rational for the most important part of the birth - the end. I'm not at all disappointed. I feel like a rockstar! Tyler and I did a fantastic job handling labor and now have a beautiful son to show for it. :)

(almost) 40 weeks!

 Just in case Jack comes tonight (knock on wood, right?) I had Tyler take a picture of me. My belly is soooo huge!! I didn't realize how enormous it is!

Here is the view I have every.single.day. Can't wait to see my feet again.

(And on a strange, random, too-much-information side note, do you know how hard it is to pee in a cup nowadays? I have to leave a urine sample every single week at the doctor and it's ridiculously difficult! This belly gets in the way of everything.)

2 days and counting!

And Happy Birthday to my Mom, the "birthday witch"! She is so selfless and patient, and loves to serve others. She has sacrificed so much for our family, and I want her to know that I really appreciate it. She isn't afraid to share her testimony of the gospel, and I really admire her for that. She has always been compassionate and loving, and I am grateful for her example! I know our children will learn a lot from their Grandma Tammy. :)

37 Weeks

 Now that it's getting down to the wire (3 weeks!!), I figured I should document this whole pregnancy thing a little more.

[I just don't like to be in pictures, so I avoid them at all costs.]

But alas, here is my 37-week baby bump. Actually kind of cute, huh? My pregnancy emails still compare him to fruits and vegetables (which is pretty dang hilarious sometimes) and this week he is a watermelon. A 6.5 lb. watermelon, measuring in at approximately 19 inches long. [Wow. And it's my job to birth this guy. Start praying for me.] At my appointment last week, I was 1 cm dilated and 75% effaced, and this week I am 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. Hey, it might not be much but progress is progress! It's nice to know that all the little twinging aches and pains down there are good for something. (I also tested positive last week for group b strep. I'm kind of bummed I will have to take antibiotics during labor...hopefully it's quick so I don't have to be hooked up to anything!)

As much as I complain about this whole baby-invading-my-body thing, it's actually such a miraculous process when you sit back and think about it. I grew a baby. I am growing a baby. Holy cow, how cool is that?! I honestly don't know how people cannot believe there is some higher power that created us. Do you really think it was just coincidence that my body is able to grow a child?! For nine months now I have been growing a mini-me&tyler! [Good thing I'm not an elephant. I don't think I could stand an invasion of my belly for 22 months.]

We're so excited to meet him. And can't wait for you all to meet him. Tyler already called first-dibs on holding his hand...sorry, ladies. ;)

21 Weeks

Many of you have requested belly shots, so here they are! Not the best (it's actually quite difficult to do by yourself with low-lighting so the ISO is way up and they are grainy - sorry) but here they are! 

I think it all depends on the shirt I wear whether or not I look pregnant. I'm wearing a downeast basics black tee in this picture from before I got pregnant, so it's a little tight but it shows my belly better. :)

I got two new maternity shirts for my birthday! Kind of strange when you're excited to get maternity shirts for your 22nd birthday, eh? I'm still wearing my old jeans (see above), which is really nice. I just keep them low below my belly and they fit really nicely, although the legs are quite baggy now. (I think when I was sick I lost weight in my thighs or something because all of my jeans are baggy in the butt and thighs now.)

It's really fun because as time goes on I can feel Jack move more and more. It's kind of an odd feeling though - it started out feeling like an upset stomach (a little queasy - like motion sickness but below your belly) but now his little kicks are becoming more prominent. I try to let Tyler feel them as often as I can, but I have a hard time distinguishing what I can feel on the outside versus what I feel on the inside.

And just for kicks...this week Jack is about 12oz (3/4 of a pound) and the length of a carrot!

Hello, Jack Jones!

We had our first (and probably only?) ultrasound early this afternoon and found out baby "it" is a BOY! We're so excited to share pictures with you of baby Jack's first "appearance". I won't post his "outer plumbing" (as the sonographer put it) online, but just take our word for it. It's a boy. :)

The top picture is his cute little foot (he was extremely wiggly today!) and the on bottom you can see his body and both legs. It was one of the neatest experiences, seeing a little boy moving around inside my belly. Honestly, it was surreal. But finally knowing who is inside me makes so grin. I've been smiling all day! Tonight we went shopping for Jack's first outfit, but found that most baby clothes are pretty ugly. Good thing we tried Macy's, where we found a pack of five onesies that we fell in love with. 

Anyway, welcome Baby Jack to our family!

The Business of Being Born

I don't know if many people actually think about birthing the baby when they decide to get pregnant. I know I didn't. I was pretty set on doing what everyone else does, getting an epidural. If I just got a shot that numbed the pain, I'd be fine right? I wouldn't have to think about the birth until the very end.

But with two sisters and a mother (and passionate two brother-in-laws and a father while we're at it) who are all very strongly advocated toward natural childbirth, I decided to give it a bit more thought instead of fighting them. They all swear by the Bradley method of childbirth, which I am finding is really the only type of birth that involves the husband. Tyler wants to be very involved, and I am grateful for that. Thus, we might do the Bradley method, but we're not 100% decided. I still tend to go back and forth between having an un-medicated delivery and give-me-that-freaking-epidural-right-now type of birth.

As I was doing research (for hypnobirthing, actually), I came across a documentary called The Business of Being Born. I really want to see it! (But we don't have netflix and I don't want to buy it. I think we might get netflix in a couple weeks though when we live with my parents so I can do prenatal yoga, so if I do end up seeing it, I will let you all know!) It's about how the U.S. has turned birthing a child into a business - into a "potentially catastrophic medical emergency" rather than letting it be a natural process. Really, if you think about it, women have been giving birth since the beginning of time without drugs and medical intervention. Women in other countries today still give birth without medical intervention, and live to tell the tale! Think about it. Comparatively speaking, we're wimps here in the states!

I'm not saying for sure that Tyler and I will do the Bradley Method or Hypnobirthing or forgo that beautiful heaven-sent epidural, but as I do my research, the facts tell me the drug-free is the way to go. The statistics I read are shocking - somewhere between 22 and 24% of all births in the U.S. are cesarean births (and most of those start out as epidurals). HOLY COW! I understand if it is medically necessary, but where do you draw the line? And who draws the line? I have a hard time believing that 1/4 of all infants need to be surgically removed from a mother's uterus. Where has the natural process of birth gone? I've been reading several books on natural birth, and the more I read, the more I am convinced. I thought it was all kooky and "hippie" at first (I mean honestly, why would I make the conscious decision to forgo pain relief? Am I an idiot?!) but after research, I am convinced it is all about one's attitude. If you think you can do it, you can. The more I read about the anatomy of the female body, I realize that a woman's body was made for giving birth!

I have to admit I am still undecided. Some days an epidural sounds really nice. But most days, I am convinced (and Tyler is even more convinced) that I can do it naturally. I guess we'll see.



SIDE NOTE:
Thanks to my sisters (Courtney and Mackenzie) for loaning me these books:
I think so far I like Ina May's book the best. She tends to be very optimistic and soothing. I can't wait to read her other book, Spiritual Midwifery.

You can just call it "It" for now

Won't it be exciting for Baby to finally have a name? We'll find out June 1st. :) I honestly don't know how people wait to find out the gender of their baby. If something that significant is growing inside of me, I want to be able to connect with it, instead of just calling it "it" or "baby" for nine months! My visiting teaching partner waited to find out the gender with both of her children. I admire her patience, but it is already driving me crazy not knowing!

Tyler and I love reading about how big Baby is each week. We've got a book that compares Baby to a different thing (usually a fruit or a vegetable) each week. I hadn't been keeping track lately since we moved, but I swear Baby was the size of a kidney bean a few weeks ago. Tomorrow I am 15 weeks (!!), and Baby is the size of an apple, about four inches long! Holy cow!

Another exciting thing is how fast my belly has "popped out". Just two weeks ago, you would have no idea I was pregnant. As of last week, I permanently look like I ate six burritos for lunch! Luckily all of my pants still fit (below my belly, anyway) but my tees are getting a little tighter. I expected it to be this way, but I really just feel like I'm fat - like I've gained ten pounds and it all went to my middle section. Hopefully I'll get a little rounder (as in you-can-definitely-tell-I've-got-a-baby-in-my-belly rounder) soon so I won't be stuck in this in-between phase for too long.

I am feeling pretty good right now, but I've definitely had my ups and downs these past few weeks. I don't know if I was sicker than most or just average. I don't have much to compare it to. However, my mom pointed out that I have had my fair share of stomach problems growing up (name a place and I've probably hurled there once or twice in my life). I've always had really bad motion sickness, and have just gotten sick easily. So maybe I was able to deal with nausea better, but then again, it was pretty bad. Last Wednesday night Tyler had to take me to the hospital because I couldn't keep anything down. I threw up about eight times in two hours, and couldn't even keep water or a few licks of a popsicle down. Luckily, the nurses took pity on me and gave me a shot AND a pill for nausea. I instantly felt so much better - it was amazing! Tyler and I then went to fill the prescription (which is actually for chemotherapy nausea - pretty strong stuff), and Walgreens told us one of them was going to cost over $400! Youch. My jaw dropped and we left baffled. I tried the BYU Health Center the next morning, hoping I could get some financial aid or something, and the same prescription from BYU cost me $13. That's a 97% savings! So I've been feeling much better with the help of my two medicines. Now I know to ask for medicine earlier next time and my life will be much less miserable. :)

Anyway, things are going well! I am counting down the days until we get to go to San Diego for the rest of the summer! I'd post pictures for you, but unfortunately I have lost my camera charger in our move, and my camera battery happens to be dead. It's on my to do list. I'll find it soon. :)

P.S. Has anyone used belly bands? I'm thinking of getting one soon so I can keep wearing my old jeans...

Want to know what I hear most both from people who know I am preggers and people who don't?

"Are you feeling okay? You look really pale."

Apparently I'm even more transparent than usual these days...